You Only Live Once

When i was still very young, i always wondered why couples everywhere like to quarrel. Then I’d tell myself that when i get older, when i get to be in a relationship, i will choose someone who understands me the way i am and accept me for who i am without wanting for any changes. I’m 21years old now. Let me tell you that its quite impossible.

The idea of wanting to change your partner is a two-edged sword. Simply because it can benefit the relationship on a whole if its a positive change, or just make each other frustrated when the attempt to change fails or one party is too stubborn to bother.

Change is good. But not all the time. Trying to change someone is good provided if its for the better.

I’ve always thought that all girls want their respective partner to be patient, responsible, understanding and sensible besides the obvious wants of a hollywood face that comes with washboard abs.

But I’ve come to learn that the assumption i made, based on observations of other relationships and exposure to mass media, is quite wrong. Girls want their boyfriends to be jealous, yet not over-jealous which i find it hard to find a balance. Being too understanding doesn’t work either as they might think that you don’t care for them as much.

What will be my ideal relationship be like?

My girlfriend would understand me as much as i understand her. But we have to also understand that we will never get each other 100% all the time. Even twins makes mistake sometimes.(ps: you know me so very well that i find it really incredible. But at other times, we seem to be always at loggerhead and i feel as if u don’t know me at all. I’m sure you feel the same way too. but i do not mind one bit cos i know we are still learning to insert each other into our everyday lives and there’re bound to be disagreements. we have argued, we will argue, we might argue. but what matters is we come out from it stronger yes?)

I’m open to changes if she needs me to and if its for the overall good. But if that particular something is really imbedded in my character, its really quite hard to change even if I’m willing to. (ps: you’ve always wanted me to change my character for the better, you make me have specific goals, aiming for a better future, be more religious and wanting a better life with you. its really awesome and i appreciate it lots. but when it comes to my character like me being friendly? its quite hard to change really. I agree that i used to be over-friendly last time and u advised me against it. As for now, i really think I’ve made improvement in that aspect. I am still a friendly guy but i know where to draw the line and i know which boundaries not to cross. This particular trait and others like being helpful, etc has been instilled to me ever since i was really young. And i hope you’ll see that these are positive traits that you knew was in me all along even before we got together. You should also know that these wont change my feelings for you in any way. I mean, isn’t that what matters afterall? I don’t care what the world might think about me but as long as i know you love me, I’ll be contented and satisfied.)

Accepting the fact that as much as i want my world to revolve around my partner only, it doesn’t. (ps: if possible, i want to cuddle with you all day long. i want to hold your hand and never let go. i want to stare into those beautiful eyes of yours and just let the world go by. unfortunately, in reality, i also need to go to school, be friends with people so they wont sabo me when it comes to project work and also be there for my close friends and family.)

Being able to share everything under the sun without getting misunderstood or judged. a friendly debate is even welcome anytime.

Loving each other unconditionally, trusting her that she wont break my heart and showing that she can trust me cos i will never break her heart. (ps: we’ve been together for quite a while now and i love you alot. i really do. but i really need u to trust me when it comes to certain situations and judgements. breaking your heart is the last thing i ever want to do and i think I’ve proven myself loyal and dedicated to this relationship and you to deserve that trust.)

This post is all over the place. But essentially, this is to answer your question that u posed to me over the phone earlier and also to re-iterate my point that that you do not have to feel insecure. i never want u to feel insecure about us.  i love you and will always do. i will continue to try my best in making you feel secured in our relationship cos its the least i could do. i miss you. i hope you’ll read this with an open heart/mind and take some time to think and digest it.

ps: you the you the best. period. thank you.